Friday, January 28, 2011

it´s been a while..

it´s been a while since my last post..

first off.. our boy was chosen to go to a breakfast with school principal n staff held for outstanding students..

I was proud of him.. and when he came back, he told me it was only one student per group.. made me even prouder.. I know you would too..

he´s a very smart kid, he sure got your brains..

our girl is doing fine too.. you know, she just grew some serious eyelashes.. lol.. not as curly as our boy´s but still very long and cute.. and she has your fingers.. they look so much like yours.. and her frown too.. you are truly showing up on her too.. a LOT..

it´s hard seeing days pass by... and still being without you.. I really don´t know how I´ve managed to hold it together for so long.. I really don´t..

I still wish it was only a nightmare.. we all miss you so much..

yours always,

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Where are you?..

I know where you are.. but I cannot help but ask  "where are you?" whilst seeing our pics..

where are you?.. please come back.. I wanna see you.. I wanna hold you tight..

all I´ve got is memories of us... those will last forever... I just wish you would´ve too..

we were supposed to grow old together.. get wrinkly.. grumpy.. but oh so in love..

15 days short of our 8th anniversary.. and now I´m all alone..

it was a happy date.. now I just don´t know..

I miss you with my heart.. with my soul...

I wish you were here.. and see our kids grow..

it´s just too much... I just can´t write anymore.. not right now.. I´m having a moment..
I need you to hold me in your arms...

Monday, January 10, 2011

Big day today..

Today was a big day for our kids..

Our boy went back to school.. vacations are over.. so now back to getting up early and do homework
our girl turned 2 months old today.. time is flying.. I can´t believe how fast this months went by

"bad" part was our baby got also her 2month shots.. she is not a happy baby.. she´s been crying and whining.. aww poor girl.. wish I could have her discomfort and pain instead of her..

Our boy is over the chicken pox.. amazingly he had a very mild case of it.. thank God!!..

As for me, I really can´t help but cry my eyes out whenever I see a pic of you.. I start looking at pics to so some edit work.. then I smile as I remember what was going on when I took it.. then I cry because you´re not here.. then I smile because how happy that moment was.. then I cry because they´ll be no more moments like those..

In a way I don´t want to cry.. not because I don´t want to want, but because I don´t want to pass the sadness to out girl.. something I believe she might get while feeding her..

This months without you have been really hard.. call me weird.. you loved me that way anyway ;).. but I saw a text in my phone from you from a looong while ago.. it read "call me babe, I miss you".. needless to say I bursted in tears.. just as I´m doing as I type this.. I MISS YOU TOO!!!

I can´t seem to get past the denial phase.. I just can´t.. not right now.. not sure when..

sending you a big big hug, love you..

Saturday, January 1, 2011

The End of 2010...

Today I sit here watching the year end.. hoping the new one to come be kinder with us all..

this year (2010) has been a rollercoaster in my life.. the lowest one being when you parted.. the highest one when our baby was born..

we moved.. we traveled.. we loved.. we fought.. we shared.. we pursued.. we achieved.. we smiled.. we cried.. we grew.. we dreamed.. we planned.. we were torn apart..

so many things this year seemed to promise.. so many things it took away.. one thing that will never be taken,  no matter how many years end, is my undying love for you..

I saw this on FB and had to post on my wall too..
"When we've lost someone we love we must learn, not to live without them, but to live with what love they left with us. I have loved and lost and will keep always close to my heart. Remember those you have lost and LOVE those they left behind."

I certainly can´t live without you hon, you´re living permanently in my heart.. and I will love what you left behind.. our two precious kids and 12 yrs of being by my side.. not enough really but soooo worth every day..

I hope the new year brings some comfort and peace.. gives me strength and courage.. allows me to be the best I can.. for you, the kids and myself..

for every tear there´s a smile.. and boy, have I cried.. I miss you and love you with everything I´ve got

Happy New Year my love!!