Sept 20th, 2010..

My dear husband,

I´ll never forget this day.. sometimes I wish I could.. like it was just a nightmare.. but still, a nightmare no one wants..

you were taken away from us... and we were left with only pain and impotence..

we had so many plans for our future.. some really insignificant ones.. but now they are also the ones I´ll miss the most doing with you by our side..

besides all that I´ll always remember your face as you waved goodbye that morning.. you had the loveliest smile.. a smile I´ll never forget.. a smile that will make me cry but will also bring tears to my eyes...

I miss you so much... knowing you won´t be back IS the hardest part.. I so wish I could change that..

when I realize I won´t be able to hug you, kiss you, smell you, see you.. my heart breaks a lil more.. when I packed your clothes I did it in a rush.. not because I wanted to.. but because the pain hadn´t set in yet and I still had a bit of sanity left.. when I saw those garments that you´ll never wear.. the shoes you just had bought.. the ties I gave you.. I could not help but weep... I don´t want to part with anything as I still have the idea of you walking back the door.. but I just know it´ll never be... I didn´t want to pack your shirts and suits because they´d get wrinkled.. yeah I know.. why would I bother with that if no one will wear them anyway.. well.. that´s just how much I care about you even if you´re not here...

everytime I see your pic... I see the lovely man I married.. my only and true love... I´ve been blessed to be with you.. and for you to have given me two amazing children which will always remind me of the love we shared...in fact they have kept me together... and will be my motivation to keep on walking... but man, it´s hard not having you here by my side...

they say hearts can´t break.. well.. mine just broke in half when they took you away from me...

I remember the sirens wailing and I even grinned about that because I knew you´d liked that... the clothes I picked out for you.. should have met your expectations.. you always dressed well and you deserved to leave dressed the same.. the shirt was the one your kid gave you last Christmas.. the tie, one of the ones I gave you.. the suit, one of your faves.. so you left in style.. just as you always liked..

these past days the sky has been crying too... just like me.. but please know... you don´t need to be sad... you only left us the best of you.. your love.. your kindness... and you always made us proud of you... let us be the sad ones..  you sure went to a better place... and we shall meet again.. as a friend says "one phine day"...

loving and missing you..