my first dream of you..

Today I woke up with the tiniest smile.. I dreamed about you.. it´s been a while since I had dreams I could recall..

it made me happy to "see" you once again.. and "be" with you once again... too bad I woke up.. my smile didn´t lasted long when I realized it was just a dream.. but still I had you for a couple moments..

we were at this kind of beach and there were some boat trips along the shore.. is was like a haunted castle tour.. we played tennis of all sports... weird as we´ve never played anything.. we even got sunburned..

baby has been kicking like crazy.. but you know how´s that... just that now you are not here to "kick" her back.. I loved the interaction you had and I know she knew you love her even if she hasn´t been born yet..

our boy is doing much better than I expected.. yes, he got sad knowing daddy won´t be coming back.. he cried.. but I´m amazed how he went back to his normal self so quickly.. he knows where you are and that you´ll be watching over... I wonder if he thinks you´re on a trip or something.. just like I do when I think you´ll be walking in any minute..

babe, I really need your help.. give me a hint on what to do.. sometimes I feel like I´m not doing what I´m supposed to.. or don´t even know where to start... I just hope thing start to get sorted out before I lose it.. I feel the clock ticking and try to do everything I can to get things done.. just not sure if that´s all I have to do or if it´s the way I should do it..

my life´s not the same without you.. I can´t bear the idea of living without you... you meant and still mean a lot to me.. life´s not fair.. it really isn´t... I´ll never get over you.. and I hope justice is served for those that made our life´s so miserable.. although it won´t bring you back.. God WILL make them pay..

love you honey...