Thanksgiving...

I do wonder.. is there something to be thankful today for?...

well... certainly not because you are not here.. I miss you with every inch of my being... with every breath I´ve got.. with every blink of an eye.. with every beat of my heart... and I am not thankful for not having you around...

I would be if you were still here with us.. sharing each day.. being back to where we were.. and how we were.. TOGETHER!!

but between all the sadness your departure has caused.. I do have something to be thankful for.. OUR KIDS... you gave me the chance to be the mother of the two most precious kids one could ever have.. they both are what´s left of you and I cherish having a part of you in them.. I can see you there.. I can feel you there...

I´m thankful for our boy, that he´s big and healthy... that he´s so smart.. just like you.. and that he is a very nice kid.. I´m thankful because he truly was made with love.. a love we shared... and will remain forever... 

I´m thankful for our girl, a girl we both looked for and God made our wishes come true... a girl we had tried for so long and finally got here.. a lil girl that´s also a very healthy one and a nice baby.. and all you wanted her to be like... yet another proof of our love..

I´m also thankful for all our family and friends that have been so supportive through this tough times.. I really appreciate that.. it´s been so hard but I´ve found strength in places I´ve never thought.. and people have been helping me to get by a day at a time...

I´m thankful for knowing you are in Heaven.. where else could you be?.. I´m thankful for having shared 12 of the most special years of my life with you and having the bestest times ever.. for all that we shared I´m thankful for..

I´m thankful for having had you in my life... you made it so much better...

with all my love,

2 month mark.. :(

today is the 2 month mark.. and it makes me so sad to realize you´ve been gone for so long and it seems just as if it was yesterday.. and it feels much worse..

every day I think of you... every day something makes me think of you... everyday my heart breaks... everyday my tears flow.. everyday I wish you hadn´t go... everyday I miss you more... everyday I see your face.. everyday I hear your voice.. and everyday I wish to stay asleep so all that could just be real...

my world has definitely changed... but my love for you will remain the same forever...

till we meet again my love,

my heart is yours,

Our baby arrived!!...

she was born Nov. 10th.. at 7:55 a.m....

and she´s perfect... we did a good job hun.. :) ... as happy as I am, I´m also sad.. because you are not here to hold her, kiss her and watch her grow along with us...

she´s just what you always wanted her to be.. your lil "menona"...

days keep going by.. and I still can´t believe you are no longer here... why can´t you come back.. :´(

oh babe, how must I love you... but I know you know.. I just wish you were here.. my heart aches and my eyes burst in tears everytime I think of you... don´t get me wrong I love thinking of you.. what gets me is knowing that whatever made me think of you will never be again...

sending you my endless love.. and a kiss from your kids..

always yours,

Tomorrow is the big day...

our baby is coming!!...

no, she didn´t came early.. she needs to be taken out... she´s way too big... 4 kg already (8.8 lbs).. and has a huge head.. just like yours... so she would have had, not to mention I, a lot of trouble passing by if we waited the reminder of the two weeks left ahead... the Dr. said she was soooo ready to come out.. better for everyone involved..

I truly was at shock as he wanted me to stay today and deliver this evening.. but I still had a few errands to do prior that.. as I had assumed I still had two full weeks to go...so we settled for tomorrow morning as he didn´t advice waiting any longer.... well.. seems baby took after you after all and is huge... and healthy.. let´s hope everything goes well tomorrow as I´m scared as I´ve never been ever...

so by tomorrow starting at 7 a.m. I´m gonna need you by my side to help me relax hon thinking it better you should stick around since right now as I´m a total wreck... tomorrow our baby makes her entrance to this world and I´m sure I´m gonna weep like crazy now.. I know she´ll look like you too... I miss you babe.. how I wish you where here with us...

out boy is so excited he can´t wait... too bad he´s gonna be at school... but anyway he won´t be able to see her until we get back home... I hope we can sneak him in to meet his sis...

thank you babe for our precious kids!!.. love you always and forever,

I´m scared...

yeah.. I admit it.. I´m scared.. well I started to be scared.. these past days I can´t help but think about the baby arriving any day now.. and I´m scared..

already been there but this time seems scarier... how am I gonna do?.. am I gonna be able to go through it without you?.. who´s gonna hold my hand?... who´s gonna be there by my side?.. who if not you... :´(

time is running up and I don´t want it to... each day that passes it seems more real.. you know...

from then on what am I supposed to do?.. what and how... I just don´t know.. I honestly don´t know...

it may seem I have it sorted out and be moving along.. but deep inside I´m all twisted and turned into knots.. my mind just swirls and turns, I think I´m going crazy sometimes..  sometimes I barely make it through the day without you here... I can feel my heart crying inside... I can even hear it screaming in pain...

please stay by our side... I need you by my side...

your memory is just not enough... I wish you were here...

why can´t wishes come true.. why...

my love for you will stay on forever,

Remembering you...

and the way we played this song in the guitar hero... we sure did a great duet... on and off games..

still missing you babe and loving you with every inch of my heart...

life is hard without you beside me... God must´ve needed someone exceptional up there with him...

always proud of you hon,